My Encounter With An African American Homosexual

So the other day, after I was done taking a number 2 in the mall bathrooms, the guy who was also enjoying his time in the stall next to me approaches me as I walk back towards the mall.  He proceeds to spark up a somewhat awkward conversation with me, ending it with "Let me get your number, I'll hit you up."  I, being a relatively agreeable human, simply called out my number for him.  Those were the last words I remember hearing out of his mouth.  However, they were not the last words I would come in contact with...

The textual conversation (abound with all the typical improper grammar) is as follows:

***Notice how I start all this with "Alright, hypothetical situation..."

(To be rascist, the dude=B, and myself=W)

B: Hey wat up

W: Getting ready for the day, you?

B: In class I have a ? for u

W: Okay, shoot.

B: Excuse me for being blunt but do you do dude?  Your cute

W: Haha I never have so I couldn’t tell ya

B: Kk would u try?  Maybe for money

W: Alright, hypothetical situation: if I did, how much money are we talkin’?

B: Send me a pix of u

B: And how soon

B: Send me a pix of u please

W: Hey, so my phone is broken so I can’t send pictures, and I guess you would name the price?

B: Idk u name price

B: Wat u think

B: Like 50 to 100 maybe

B: 20 for head to u wat u think

B: Wat u think about that

W: Those sound like very respectable prices.  You’ll have to get back to me, I have class in a minute

B: Kk wat tym u get out

W: You do any drugs, perchance?  And like 8, I have class all day.  Why, do you come down here a lot?

B: No but I get tabs for pep

B: Yea I’m in town all day today and I want to try and get up

B: So I can mke it do wat it do u feel

W: Well today ain’t a good day I’m loaded with homework, but if you are good another day let me know

W: What’s pep, btw?

B: Wat about wensday or Thursday

W: Well I could do Thursday afternoon if you want.  But if I decided to do anything I’d rather give you something because I haven’t found anyone who can actually please me.

B: We could get up today just for me to gave u head that wan’t take long u feel

B: It’s up to u

B: Wat tym Thursday

W: I get out of class at eleven

B: Kk

B: So like 12 1 is that ok

W: Yeah, earlier would be nice but whatever

B: So lke wat 11

B: Where we meetin at

W: Got class ttyl.  Btw you’re a cop trying to bust me for prostitution, aren’t you?

 B: [no response]

The world may never know…